Money Doesn't Make You Happy...
... but it provides access to the things that do!
The idea that "money doesn't make you happy" is often accepted without much scrutiny. As a coach working with women whose goals include increasing their income without working more, this statement is frequently referenced when people are (unconsciously) resisting change. This resistance often stems from the uncertainty of change or past challenges, making change feel too risky.
However, this statement oversimplifies the complex relationship between wealth and well-being in a capitalist society. While money alone doesn’t directly cause happiness, it allows us to meet our fundamental needs and access resources and opportunities essential for a fulfilling life.
“Money can’t buy us happiness, but it’s a tool that can give us security and safety and a sense of control over lives” - Marc Schulz, psychology professor & co-author of, "The Good Life": No, money will not buy you happiness.
For instance, Maslow's hierarchy of needs illustrates that money impacts every part of the pyramid. Our foundational needs include air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, and sex for reproduction, all of which are influenced by money. Recent news articles highlight that a growing number of millennial women are deciding not to have children due to financial constraints.
And sex is not just limited to reproduction, it is a way we give and receive pleasure. Stress about money triggers our survival response, which is the antithesis of pleasure.
Financial stress makes us irritable which impacts our capacity as parents, friends, professionals, lovers - everything!
People who are aligned with my work are concerned about the impact of wealth creation because common examples of wealth in society involve exploiting people and planet in exchange for hoarding profits. In our system, ‘trickle down economics’ never seems to trickle down; it only trickles up from the poorest to the richest and this is by design. However, we must remember that trade is not the same as capitalism. Hoarding wealth differs from creating it in an equitable and sustainable manner. Wealth creation can be a positive force for good if we make choices that are congruent with this.
Of course, money itself does not generate happiness; there are many depressed millionaires. However, it supports access to essential services, products and experiences that contribute to overall well-being.
Mary Oliver asks, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” I plan to do BIG things with my one wild and precious life. For me this is not just a choice, it feels like destiny - this is my truth I am not suggesting that it needs to be yours too. I desire to have a significant impact and create a life like art that is so beautiful that I spend my dying days in awe of what I have co-created. I want to be moulded by the art I create and deeply move others. My plan is to shine brightly and hold space for others to do the same as an author, coach, and speaker. I am learning to do this in a manner that honours my rhythms, ensuring that my actions contribute to my wild and precious life.
To do this with integrity and care, I invest in therapy, supervision, coaching, learning, and physical well-being practices, as these are fundamental for maintaining mental, emotional, and physical health. These investments ensure that I can be at my best for myself and my work.
A big life requires big money, and big money is spacious enough to be redistributed equitably.
Service-based professionals, especially those whose work involves working closely with humans to facilitate change, must make significant personal and professional investments. Supporting people to make changes, unlearn unhelpful conditioning, and create supportive conditions involves navigating a complex array of emotions. The skill necessary to manage this work healthily is taxing. Investing in development and self-care, including upholding boundaries, maintaining high self-worth, and taking radical responsibility for oneself, is crucial.
These investments ensure that you can provide high-quality services, benefiting both yourself and your clients.
Wealth Creation and Social Responsibility
Wealth creation doesn’t have to equate to capitalist exploitation. As a business owner, you can generate wealth while upholding principles of equity and justice. This can be achieved through:
Fair Employment Practices: Offering fair pay, benefits, and a supportive work environment.
Ethical Supply Chains: Choosing suppliers who follow ethical and sustainable practices.
Community Investments: Supporting local businesses and community projects.
These practices ensure that the wealth generated by your business supports broader social and economic well-being, demonstrating that wealth can be used responsibly. And these practices cost more.
Supporting Social Justice
Personal wealth enables you to support causes that promote equity and justice. Donations to charities, funding social initiatives, and investing in ethical companies align financial success with social responsibility. This approach shows that wealth can drive positive change, challenging negative perceptions associated with it.
In our society, money provides access to power, enabling us to challenge governmental policies and decisions. When wealth is rooted in equity, it can be used to lobby for changes that support a healthy, thriving society. By leveraging financial power, we can advocate for policies that promote social justice, environmental sustainability, and community well-being.
I am not at peace with this reality, but it is the one we face.
There is great strength in collective action, evident in marches, protests, and boycotts for causes such as Palestinian liberation, fair trade in Congo, and peace in Sudan. However, the influence of wealthy people at the governmental level is also significant and we can see that this misuse of influence has been detrimental.
Ecosystem Approach
I’m currently studying an introduction to justice and economics. One recommended read is "Doughnut Economics" by Kate Raworth. This book presents a revolutionary framework that challenges traditional capitalist models, emphasising balancing economic activity within social and ecological limits. This model advocates for a regenerative and distributive economy, focusing on holistic well-being rather than continuous growth.
Unlike patriarchal systems operating in a hierarchy, the Doughnut model resembles a matriarchal approach, where relationships and resources are managed in a circular, interconnected manner. This ecosystem approach ensures that all parts support each other, creating a sustainable and inclusive economy. For this system to work, more of us need to make the money we desire to contribute meaningfully.
The Dance of Capitalism vs. The Rhythm of Nature
In my book "Women Who Work Too Much," I discuss how capitalism prioritises profit over people and the planet. This can be compared to dancing to the lyrics of a song rather than the beat, the essence of the music. Nature operates in a consistent and harmonious rhythm. Nature moves to the rhythm of the music, deeply connected and aligned with the environment.
Redistributing Wealth
While money alone may not directly create happiness, it provides essential access to resources that support a fulfilling and harmonious life. Wealth creation, when approached ethically and equitably, can be a powerful force for good. By investing in personal well-being and supporting social justice causes, we can align our financial success with our core values, contributing to a more equitable and just society.
To that end I invite you to join Lara Sheldrake , Sara Dalrymple and I in London for an in person event called, ‘More Sales, More Impact’ on 27th June 2024 from 17:30 - 20:30.
The economy needs more impact-driven women participating, not less.
And that means making peace with the way you show up and sell, in all seasons.
We want to help you find your mojo again!
Overcome the fear
Show up with authenticity and joy
Sell to have the ultimate impact
The event takes place at Hearth, London. All profits from this event will be donated to MAP (Medical Aid For Palestinians), a UK-based charity providing medical aid to the people of Palestine.
References
1. Financial stress and depression in adults: A systematic review - PLOS ONE, https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0264041
2. The link between money and mental health - Mind, https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/money-and-mental-health/about-money-and-mental-health/
3. Wealthy, Healthy - Harvard Medical School, https://hms.harvard.edu/news/wealthy-healthy
4. The impact of household wealth gap on individual’s mental health - BMC Public Health, https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-020-09008-5
5. Doughnut Economics - Kate Raworth, https://www.kateraworth.com/doughnut/
6. A Conversation with Kate Raworth on Doughnut Economics - https://thoughteconomics.com/a-conversation-with-kate-raworth-on-doughnut-economics-and-redesigning-our-economy/
7. What Is Doughnut Economics? - Population Media Center.
8. "The Good Life": No, money will not buy you happiness - Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz
9. For some millennial women, the decision to not have kids comes down to cost - https://www.creditkarma.com/about/commentary/for-some-millennial-women-the-decision-to-not-have-kids-comes-down-to-cost#:~:text=For%20the%2035%25%20of%20millennial,35%25%20of%20Gen%20Z%20women.
Nailed it
Can’t wait for the 27th! 🎤🔥💰